Now that we are curious, and are willing to explore other cultures, I’d like to shed some light on the foundations that one needs to be able to begin the adventure and make the most out of it.
In starting our journey to know one another we need to come to understand what defines us as the species called human beings and what should be the protocols for the interacting without getting too technical.
My observation is that the individual behavior is influenced by five key pillars that make-up our personality producing a unique individual who is one of a kind and no two of us are alike.
The first pillar is the traditions we hold dear, extracted from the influences of family and people, events and history, past and present, passed on through generations and continuously evolving.
Second is our culture, the environment and place we grew up or live in for an extended period, a village a city or a province. Locally, you may notice differences between Emiratis within the UAE, from the coastal communities to the inland villages, from the desert to the mountains and valleys, from the nomadic to the settled.
Third is our belief, regardless of what ideology we are born into or choose to belong to, a holy scripture, or the choice to refute one, manmade laws, economic systems; or whatever dictates the norms of the society.
Fourth is our nationality or political identity, which could be where you were born, or where your parents were born or what country that you migrated from or to, or a nationality you have acquired through naturalization or carry in a passport.
Fifth, is our experiences and upbringing, stages of moral development, values we are taught, principals we obey, whether we are free or forced to, and most importantly our own attitudes.
These pillars of personality make each one of us a unique human being, collectively comprising the human race, a magnificent species that reflects the beauty of us. Whether it is human nature or learned behavior we look for us in others, and when we do not find ourselves, we are put off; we become uncomfortable or shy away from those people or places. Some individuals are polite about it, quietly going about their way of doing things, not venturing out of their comfort zone, and neutral to the differences that exist between us. Some recognize the differences and are curious about other habits, behaviors and thinking, studying it, experiencing it and taking from it what suits them and leaving the rest. Others can be extremely uncivilized toward our differences, constantly measuring people against themselves and using those measures to include those that are similar and exclude the rest. And there are those who are at odds with those differences we find in the human race, those who create rifts and separation among the people, stereotypes and hatred, whether the differences are significant or not. They seem to forget that we are by nature unique, and as I always say meant to complement and complete each another not compete.
What kind of human being are you? Getting to really know someone, and accept the beauty in our differences requires us to be aware of who we are first, and challenge ourselves to be the curious one, the one who learns through their experiences with others rather than measure the differences.
With those things in mind, let’s see how we can start to sincerely engage with others.
- First step: we must be willing to suspend judgment in every shape or form that has become a part of our collective society or individual personality when dealing with differences. One of our biggest challenges today is negative media and misinformation.
- Second step: now that we have checked the facts and are listening to another point of view, we must be willing to reflect on our misconceptions; adjust our perceptions and see things from another angle or lens.
- Third step: be willing to detach yourself from any stereotyping, one encounter (negative that is) does not determine the outcome of the next encounter, nor one person’s actions represent the majority, whether in a cultural context or religious. First and foremost we can’t give up if our efforts are met with negative attitudes or incomprehension.
- Fourth step: we must avoid social sequestering, such as gathering with people of the same ethnic background, race, color, or faith exclusively. Make a habit of inviting others into your social group or venture out into areas of your city where you can experience another culture, food, entertainment or shopping.
- Fifth step: make an effort to learn; fill your head and heart with deeper knowledge, avoiding the superficial outer appearances of differences and get to know others. You don’t need to lose yourself in embracing another culture.
A sincere effort to understand ourselves, our neighbors and communities is essential to intercultural coexisting and to eradicate prejudice. Culture is everything and everything is culture.