All posts in “expatwomen”

What’s Your Default?


Did you ever wonder why some people seem to attract friends, business opportunities and seem to exude confidence even in unfamiliar situations? What’s their secret to success? Well, part of it has to do with their “default” or Cultural Intelligence. In the past we use to measure someone’s IQ and use it as a predictor of success in everything from educational achievements to financial success or notoriety in their field of choice. But, as David Livermore recently stated in his BBC interview this month, “The number one predictor of your success in today’s borderless world is not your IQ, not your resume, and not even your expertise”.  Cultural Intelligence it seems can give you an edge over anyone’s IQ, and quite frankly opens doors and windows to places you couldn’t image without it. Did you ever here the saying “You don’t know what you don’t know”? Well, that’s a bit like cultural intelligence. You can’t benefit from someone’s perspective if you can’t see it.

“Having the right knowledge, drive and openness towards other perspectives, an aversion to the trap of “group think” all contribute to creating an environment where everyone is valued, and new ideas and innovation is encouraged”, says Nasif Kayed, founder and CEO of The Arab Culturalist.

So, What’s Your Default?

Many people believe that simply respecting other points of view and cultures = Cultural Intelligence. But it takes more than respect to feel confident in multi-cultural environments, and even more to be able to see other perspectives as equal or for that matter better. Knowledge is key, second only to what you do with the knowledge. Do you use it to modify your behavior, or do you use it as a measure differences and barriers to connecting?

For instance, when encountering something new or different is your default to:

  • Be suspicious or curious
  • Be critical or suspend judgement
  • Contrast or compare
  • Ignore or find out more

By asking yourself some basic questions, you can begin your journey to improve your Cultural Intelligence and inter-cultural communication skills.  In our borderless world, cultural understand and awareness benefits you just as much as it connects people, encourages diversity and inclusion, and leads to innovation.  What’s your default?

The Arab Culturalist has developed a one of a kind workshop, which will be held on November 22nd in Abu Dhabi and December 6th in Dubai,  which is just the beginning of your journey to build you cultural intelligence.  Register Our programs  span a period of 25 years, teaching and advising businesses, government entities, community groups, law enforcement and students, in the US and Middle East on how they can create working and living environments that are inclusive and promote successful collaboration across cultures. Contact us to find out more at

Unexpected Consequences: How Should We Learn about Cultural Differences?

I recently met a group of university students traveling to the Middle East for a “study program” whose aim was to educate them about local culture and better prepare them for global positions.  They visited the most popular cultural sites and centers which including a trek into the desert and an authentic local experience.  I wasn’t surprised when I started to listen to some of their comments about what they thought they had learned and some of the questions that remained unanswered.  As a Cultural Intelligence professional, it didn’t take long to figure out that through the learning process the students didn’t become more culturally aware.  Instead their experiences had reinforced stereotypes about local cultural habits and norms, the outer and most visible aspects of culture one would find through “exposure” to these experiences without the proper guided discussion that should go along with it. Attitude matters too, but what’s more important is figuring out why they failed to build their Cultural Intelligence, and why these experiences left them with having more stereotypes than busted myths.

A recent study by Emma Buchtel (2014) posed the question: “Does learning about cultures improve cultural sensitivity, or does it strengthen cultural stereotyping?” Does it promote an “US vs Them” thinking that legitimizes stereotyping and supports prejudices? Butchel argues that with the wrong set of circumstances, attitudes and empty learning, what is meant to build cultural understanding and unity accomplishes just the opposite. True cultural learning is not as simple as trying local foods and learning about cultural dress and celebrations. This can be a great backdrop, but it’s not where the deep learning happens.  It requires a 360 approach to understanding culture with a conscious focus on the why not the how of things.

I have personally spoken to more than 20,000 students over a 6-year period, teaching and supporting learning about culture.  The anecdotal evidence I gained from that experience supports the theory that not every cultural experience succeeds in accomplishing the goal of cultural understanding. Some negative outcomes could be attributed to student attitudes throughout the experience.  But I observed that much of failures, not the successes had to do with the delivery of the information in a vacuum.  What I mean by this is when learning about local food or dress for example, the information is presented as a list of items consumed or worn without engaging the participant in critical thinking.

If we truly want to go beyond the surface, then we need to evaluate how we go about our cultural learning and invest in programs and experiences that succeed in accomplishing a true awareness and appreciation for our diversity as well as uniting us through the similarities that exist among all of us.  As Nasif Kayed, Founder and CEO of the Arab Culturalist says, “who were we before all of this (motioning with his hands)? We were all tribes and nations, exploring the vast expanses of the world, sharing ideas and learning about one another.”  Cultural habits did not grow without purpose, so we must learn about them through the deeper values that created them.  In discovering those values, we find the similarities that unite us. That’s when cultural exploration succeeds in teaching us to be culturally intelligent and better equip to navigate in a multi-cultural environment.

The Arab Culturalist has developed a one of a kind workshop, which will be held on October 25th, 1300,  which is just the beginning of your journey to build you cultural intelligence.  Register Our programs  span a period of 25 years, teaching and advising businesses, government entities, community groups, law enforcement and students, in the US and Middle East on how they can create working and living environments that are inclusive and promote successful collaboration across cultures. Contact us to find out more at

Cultural Intelligence and Honor Shame World Views

Cultural Intelligence is the capability to work effectively in diverse cultural situations. Sounds like a must have skill, right? Ok, let’s say you agree and decided that you need this skill in your workplace environment, as an international student or teacher, in your diverse community or for travel to an unfamiliar country and culture. How does one acquire these skills?

The first step is to examine what motivates and drives behavior.  For any individual or society, this would be determined by many factors including some general considerations like your place of birth, your family’s discipline style, your education, religious affiliation and your social encounters. Have you ever wondered why you chose your career or educational path? Your friends or hobbies? Your likes and dislikes? Most people would be surprised that your personal cultural values, world view and Cultural Cluster* have more influence than you think.

*Cultural Clusters, or grouping countries according to 10 culture cultures are a useful way to categories similarities and differences across regions. But one must be skeptical to use these as rigid behavioral predictors, as there are country by country factors that make every society unique.

Cultural Intelligence and understanding a person’s cultural values helps you determine what motivates actions and reactions when communicating across cultures, in decision making and collaboration. But it isn’t that simple, especially in the UAE.  For example, thirty years ago, you may have been able to say that the GCCs most predominate cultural value is honor, with the opposite an avoidance to shame. When modern day anthropologist Muller devised the three worldviews he used the map below to parcel out the world into regions of Honor-Shame interpretations. Take notice that all societies have some form of honor and shame as motivating factors for behavior and communication styles. That technically makes every society at some level an Honor-Shame culture!

So, what’s the difference? The key to building your Cultural Intelligence skills is to understand HOW honor is defined in a specific culture as it motivates behavior. Knowledge and being aware is the first step to developing a strategy that helps you to lead or collaborate within multicultural teams. Here is an example of how honor is defined in two cultures and how it effects decision making.

In Japan honor means “saving face”, and dishonoring someone else would mean the loss of “face” for them as well as yourself.  This translates into very passive and polite social interaction and communication styles. For example, one of our clients mentioned that her associate thought a marketing pitch meeting went well. Her client was cordial and complimentary of the strategy she proposed and said they’d be in touch. The associate was surprised that the client did not contact her, and later when pressed declined the offer.  There was no indication during the meeting that they were not happy with the proposal.  Did the associate miss out on cues from the client that were overlooked because of cultural communication differences?

In Arab/Islamic culture, honor is related to symbols held in high esteem such as the Quran, Prophet Mohammed, rulers, certain occupations and those in authority. Therefore, there is an intense competition to defend as well as achieve the status and mannerisms of those figures, thereby achieving or maintaining your honor. Take for instance the most recent suspension of a columnist in Saudi Arabia for “over praising its ruler” . A misunderstanding of expected protocols when honoring leaders just cost him his job.  Understanding the fine line between honor and shame is critical when working in the GCC.

Evaluating one’s personal style and cultural values, combined with understanding cultural norms is the first step to becoming more Culturally Intelligent. For more information, contact us to learn how you can build your Cultural Intelligence and take the Cultural Values Assessment and CQ Survey.

Culture of Communication

Culture Matters. Did you ever wonder what you could have said or done differently when a business meeting fails to produce the desired results or sale of your product? Why did they chose “XYZ” company over you?  You may be surprised to know that what sets them apart is their ability to communicate in an atmosphere that builds trust and compatibility; elements that are integral to connecting in a multi-cultural world. For international companies, cross border success is tied to our ability to adapt our communication styles and plan for those differences within our business model. One way to achieve this is building Cultural Intelligence. The CQ model explains cultural intelligence  as  your companies’ ability to work effectively across cultures and is just one method to develop this essential skill. Understanding the cultural norms of a market or within your own organization may be the only thing stagnating growth, or killing the deal. Look at the advertisement below.  It was used by a foreign bank doing business in the Middle East to promote a new savings scheme.  See anything wrong with this picture? Building your CQ knowledge could give you the answer.

What steps can I take to build Cultural Intelligence and increase my chances of success on the international stage?

Once you understand the power of cultural intelligence, you can begin to take the necessary steps to adapt your strategy during negotiations, collaborate more effectively and efficiently with multi-cultural teams or avoid costly mistakes in marketing a product in a foreign market.  Here are some tips.

  • Have the Proper Motivation, (drive and interest in truly getting to know other cultures)
  • Build Your Knowledge about your team first and of course your client’s culture.
  • Plan for cross-cultural communication encounters by setting out a strategy.
  • Stay in the moment, look for non-verbal cues, and be ready to adapt your communication style to address cross-cultural communication “confusion”.

Here’s an example of how cultural differences are creating conflict within a team.

At your team meetings, Abdulla and Aruto,  junior team members are always quiet but have plenty to share via email and seem to have great ideas.  They are attentive and listen carefully but don’t contribute during the brain storming sessions. Other team members view their silence as a strategy to “keep their ideas” a secret, only sharing them directly with decision makers to out shine the others on the team. Abdulla and Arturo are new to the company, and haven’t yet figured out the “corporate culture”.  Other team members view their silence as awkward and an obstacle to collaborative spirit of the organization.  What’s going on here? Are these team members ultra-competitive or does culture affect their silence? How do they view power distance and the chain of authority among their team and leadership?

Understanding the answers will lead to improving your Cultural Intelligence.  Leading a multi-cultural team and motivating them to success can be difficult if communication styles affected by culture are not considered.  Building your cultural intelligence skills as a leader and as a team can help tackle these questions and create a cohesive collaborative, environment that leads to innovation and achieving the goals set by the organization. These skills can be used to have a better understanding of your company’s reach in the global market and can be the difference between an advertising campaign boom or bust.

Visit our CQ page to learn more about how to build your cultural intelligence.


Borders, Flags, National anthems, passports, visas, WALLS, boundaries and territories. It’s not just simple geography, it’s the mindset that creates our national consciousness or is it a means to divide and conquer?

Categorizing things is a skill that we develop starting from the day we’re born and reinforced throughout our education and environment. It is ingrained in our very being, and used to process the way we understand everything from math to the arts. We categorize people by gender, color, nationalities, culture, faith, political system or status, and the list goes on.

Is this just the way we are programmed to operate? If not, then how should it be?

Let’s simply look at the facts.

Yes, we are different, we do things differently and conceptualize things in ways we comprehend and are content with. So, what’s not acceptable about that?

We live in a time when somehow being different is not ok but rather the source of the wave of polarization that is effecting all aspects of society.  The old saying my way or hit the highway has become the prevailing winds of change. The loudest voices are screaming out that our differences are not interesting or unique, rather that they are to be looked at with precaution or even fear. Beware they are not like us, we are right, they are not!

When children meet, they are innocent, curious and intrigued by the world around them, particularity the differences; they don’t see white and black, blue eyes or brown, skinny or fat, rich or poor. But soon they learn perspective from parents, teachers, and their environment.  If the perspective is “us and them” then, the way they see differences  are no longer intriguing; rather they are met with fear, bias, misconception and prejudice.

If left unchecked, we grow up in an environment that is continuously injecting negative and stereotypes, into our mindsets (we let it), until our view of others is distorted by all kinds of misconceptions and negative perceptions.

What to do then? Through modifying our perspective, we can learn to take those misconceptions and create an opportunity to learn the facts about a certain culture or faith, nationality or ethnicity with the same curiosity and openness we had as children.

I also learned that it starts with me. Every one of us needs to first learn about ourselves before we can begin to understand others.  Call it our Cultural Values. Once I understand my underlying values, cultural norms, habits, traditions, the political identity and faith I proclaim, my comfort zone in going about life, I can begin to understand what drives my behavior and my perspective.

This perspective to accept who I am before others do, and that who I am may or may not have to do with where I was born, my traditions or faith, is critical to self-development and harmony in society. I call this Nationality vs Personality, and knowing the difference is the first step in building your Cultural Intelligence. What tribe or people I belong to or nationality I hold certainly does not represent a whole society, and conversely individuals that share with me faith, culture, or a political identity do not represent me. We each have our own, one of a kind, finger print, eye scan and DNA.

The perspective to be comfortable with myself in my own skin, strive to make others feel comfortable in their own skin, make sincere attempts at understanding others, empathize, sympathize, tolerate, creates an environment where we can live in peace and harmony.

For us to connect with each other, tear the WALLS down between us, we need to start with the basics. Greet each other with a smile at first glance, share a meal with a stranger, sit-down and have a chat, ask and answer questions, clear a misconception and clarify a perception with enthusiasm, passion, sincerity and laughter; cherish the moment and seize an opportunity that may never present itself again.

The Value of One Humanity

As we celebrate the International Day of Tolerance referred to as Al Tasamuh in Arabic, I’d like to shed some light on why this human value has become extremely important now more than ever.

As the world stands today, we are not only divided by nationalities, borders, flags, national anthems, faith, color, gender, status and level of education, we have drawn yet another divide, the division of personal opinion.

The fundamental basics to unity should be that we all agree on a foundation from which we extract the answers to our well-being and to peaceful coexistence.  This does not mean that we are not unique individuals; but our individuality should not be a source of division, separatism, war and strife.

In my endeavor to connect people and bridge the divide, alleviate misconceptions, and establish a different outlook on life, I would humbly like to share what I have learned:

  • That for this world and all that is in it, to exist and function, is not by chance; and its functioning must have a driver, a leader, a starter.
  • The fact of the matter is that we all have the same hardware (eyes, ears, arms, legs …etc.) the same motherboard, (we laugh, we cry, we are happy, we are sad and so on) and one operating system.
  • We have the basic instinct to survive, but how we survive is our choice. We choose to download, develop, create the software of us, the principles by which we protect our survival.
  • There are two “control panels” within us, logic – our Brain and emotional  – our Hearts. How we use them is the essence our humanity.

Logic: Simply think about the functioning of the universe that runs with pin point precision. Look at its vastness, look at the earth and all it encompasses, reflect, contemplate, question and genuinely seek the logic in it. Could it be by chance, or is this all planned and pre-designed?

Emotion: When we are in trouble, when we are in danger, when we are in a desperate situation, our instincts kick in. Its fight or flight, beg or plead, but in the end our heart motivates us into action.

Those who rely on the premise that there is a Master Planner, a Controller, He is the one we turn to when we are in despair, when the situation is desperate, when the calamity is about to befall us.

If we accept this premise of a higher power, the Creator of all that is created, Sustainer, Provider and Protector the one and only Lord of the Universe for all of mankind and all that is around us, then we also accept that there is a system, that allows us to exercise our most valuable asset that distinguishes the human race from  all that exists – FREE WILL,  and with that the knowledge that there are certain things that are unchangeable and therefore beyond our free will to choose.

What’s most interesting, is that no matter what you believe, pre-design or by chance, Master Planner or you as Master of the Plan, the things that we use so quickly to divide us are simply beyond our control. Ask yourself. Did you choose the color, gender, race, or the country you were born in? Did you choose your parents, your status in this world, or the resources you have around you? Do you choose when, where and how you will leave this life?  The answer is NO.

Therefore, to unite as one human race, we must accept the universal truth that a basic principle of life is the principle that every life is valued. There is no country or border with more right or humanness, no race or ethnicity that in and of itself is elevated. We can distinguish ourselves only by our treatment towards one another. We should rise to leadership by our devotion and justice to the people, and as I mentioned if you believe in a higher power, that God, Eloah, Elohim, Yahweh, Jehovah or Lord, is above all and therefore the Supreme Leader, with an operating system that is right for every living thing on this earth, inclusive of the social, economic and political guidelines that define wrong and right, good and bad.  If this is true, then we must adhere to the guidelines and rules that govern the human coexistence; we have no choice in how to treat one another, as the system requires that we must not discriminate and differentiate between one another based on the superficial.

We must not accept what is being propagated by those who would like to see some rise and others fall, to see a world divided by sectarianism, elitism, and religion. It is only when we recognize the words of great leaders past and present, who championed the philosophies of tolerance and peaceful coexistence that we will also become a great human race, ready to achieve a better life for the collective good. This is the only truth we must adhere to and preserve.

As I always say, renowned people in history are not those who collected the most wealth nor those who were the most beautiful or lived the healthiest lifestyle,  rather they are the simple people who did good; people like Mother Teresa, Ghandi, and for us here in the UAE we regard HH Sheikh Zayed, and HH Sheikh Rashid, for their humanity and acceptance of all.

Therefore, leave a legacy of good, and believe that the good starts with you. Reflect on the bad you do to others and apologies and fix it, also reflect and remember the good others do to you and be grateful and kind. Be a part of the solution, not a bystander to the problem. Tolerate, Accept.

Dubai Week in China

Building UAE – Chinese Relations Through Shared Culture

Do great minds think alike? Not really. The best way to connect with someone is to get to know what we have in common. We often on a first meet look for commonalities in the small talk and social cues before we get down to any serious business. Companies may have a common purpose or goal to collaborate for a mutually beneficial outcome, but that’s not always enough. Getting to know one another, the stakeholders in an organization and mutual comfort zones, makes the difference in doing the deal. When it comes down to two competing equally skilled companies for the same bid or contract, the “people element is crucial”. Understanding communication and leadership styles across cultures is the key to having a leading edge in doing business in the UAE.

This week a delegation of top industry and government representatives participated in Dubai’s Week in China, organized by Falcon & Associates where 11 separate agreements between public and private sectors were formed.  Highlights of this year’s week in China, held in Shanghai saw among other successes the strengthening of relationships with China’s business and educational endeavors.  “China is Dubai’s largest trading partner since 2014 and cooperation’s are extending beyond just trade.” says Kayed.  “Students are traveling from China to the UAE to take advantage of some of the world class MBA programs here. Our recent participation in IUNC shows that university recruiters see the value in cultural immersions as part of their orientation for students and agree that it helps with retention and happiness for students studying abroad.”   Mr. Kayed MC’d the “Cultural Intelligence for Future Leaders” forum at the DWiC, as well as giving talks at the Department of Tourism and Commerce event, and hosting a day of cultural immersion for participants.  “Cultural Intelligence abilities and competencies have become crucial to having an edge in highly competitive markets such as Dubai and China. These skills can be developed and enhanced with first building cultural knowledge. “

With an agreement signed this week between China and the Dubai, allowing for attestation of certificates and a reciprocal agreement between the two countries on education, the UAE will see an increase in Chinese students taking advantage of the world class schools and universities on offer in the UAE.  With that will come the necessity for universities to address cultural issues from the start, to allow students to have the best possible education and satisfaction in the process.  Universities like, SP Jain Global School of Management, Hult MBA’s and Modul University have already taken the initiative with orientation programs for international students that introduce local cultural norms, traditions and opportunities for enhancing their cultural knowledge.  Managing across cultures is the norm in international cities like Dubai and Shanghai. Therefore students need to be prepared, with the proper mix of skills that take into consideration so called “soft skills” like Cultural Intelligence and Cultural Competencies.






本周,一个由顶级行业与政府的代表组成的代表团参加了在中国举办的迪拜周,期间达成了11项协议,合作范围涵盖公共和私营部门的多个领域。今年举行在上海的迪拜周的一大亮点是同中国商业与教育领域合作的加强。 “中国是迪拜自2014年以来最大的贸易伙伴,而双方的合作并不局限于贸易领域。”Kayed说。 “中国的学生们来到阿联酋,充分利用这里世界级的MBA课程。我们最近参与的IUNC(国际大学网络会议)表明,大学招聘人员将文化沉浸作为学生价值导向的一部分,大家同意,这将有利于保留率及留学生的幸福水平。Kayed 先生主持了迪拜周的“未来领袖的文化智商”论坛,在旅游局的活动中发言,并为参与者带来了一天的文化沉浸日活动。“在如迪拜和中国这样竞争激烈的市场,文化智商对于发展出个人竞争优势至关重要。这些技能可以首先通过建立文化知识来开发和增强。


中国和迪拜本周签署了互惠协议,双方将批准承认对方高等学历机构颁发的学历、学位,预计将会有更多的中国学生享受到世界一流学校与大学在阿联酋提供的教育。在这样的背景下,大学更有必要从一开就给予文化问题足够的重视,以让学生在整个过程中得到最好的教育,获得最大的满足。SP Jain全球管理学院,Hult MBA和Modul大学等已采取主动,为国际学生提供与当地文化规范、传统相关的介绍活动,以提高他们的文化知识。跨文化管理是迪拜、上海等国际城市的常态,因此,学生们需要武装好自己,将文化智商和文化竞争力这样的“软技能”纳入到技能储备组合中来。

Expatriates and Living in Dubai

Culture is everything and everything is culture.

The UAE’s population comprises of over 85% expatriates. Dubai is home to over 180 different nationalities. As expected, this has made the globally recognized UAE, as the colossal collage of different cultures.

While some expatriates (I like to call them guests) are happy to immerse themselves in UAE culture, others tend to network largely with fellow countrymen and other Westerners.

As an Inter-cultural and motivational speaker, I have had the good fortune of meeting thousands of expatriates. My extensive work as an authentic source for UAE and Middle Eastern culture puts me in direct contact with expatriates who are new to the UAE, as well as those who have been living in the region for many years.

Below I will share some key information on culturally aware expatriates and offer some useful tips.

What are 5 things that culturally aware expats do differently in terms of how they conduct themselves (socially in public) in UAE?

• They learn basic Arabic such as the greeting “Asalamu Alikum” and what it means.
• They are mindful of their dress in public places.
• They are less judgmental towards those who are different and more comfortable in culturally diverse settings.
• They are more eager to interact with locals and become less intimidated by cultural differences.
• They advocate for better understanding of misconceptions and are willing to change their perception about other cultures.
• They become more aware of their own cultural norms and find more commonalities with others rather than the differences.
• They strive to learn about the culture business etiquette needed to do business in the UAE and Arab world.

The most important thing that people who are new to UAE should keep in mind shortly after arriving here?

There are some basic expectations about the “etiquette of body language” that may be acceptable in other countries but not here. For instance, in Singapore chewing gum is against the law and you could be fined. In the UAE, inappropriate hand gestures, offensive language, or insulting someone are taken more seriously by law enforcement than in other countries. Simply put, you need to mind your manners.

Safety is very important to us. Once you get here, you will realize that the UAE is a very safe place to live and work. We are also very tolerant. In Dubai, you will find the most diverse number of nationalities coexisting in peace.

If you have a misconception we have a clarification, if you have a perception we have an explanation.

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