All posts in “emirates”

Culture of Communication

Culture Matters. Did you ever wonder what you could have said or done differently when a business meeting fails to produce the desired results or sale of your product? Why did they chose “XYZ” company over you?  You may be surprised to know that what sets them apart is their ability to communicate in an atmosphere that builds trust and compatibility; elements that are integral to connecting in a multi-cultural world. For international companies, cross border success is tied to our ability to adapt our communication styles and plan for those differences within our business model. One way to achieve this is building Cultural Intelligence. The CQ model explains cultural intelligence  as  your companies’ ability to work effectively across cultures and is just one method to develop this essential skill. Understanding the cultural norms of a market or within your own organization may be the only thing stagnating growth, or killing the deal. Look at the advertisement below.  It was used by a foreign bank doing business in the Middle East to promote a new savings scheme.  See anything wrong with this picture? Building your CQ knowledge could give you the answer.

What steps can I take to build Cultural Intelligence and increase my chances of success on the international stage?

Once you understand the power of cultural intelligence, you can begin to take the necessary steps to adapt your strategy during negotiations, collaborate more effectively and efficiently with multi-cultural teams or avoid costly mistakes in marketing a product in a foreign market.  Here are some tips.

  • Have the Proper Motivation, (drive and interest in truly getting to know other cultures)
  • Build Your Knowledge about your team first and of course your client’s culture.
  • Plan for cross-cultural communication encounters by setting out a strategy.
  • Stay in the moment, look for non-verbal cues, and be ready to adapt your communication style to address cross-cultural communication “confusion”.

Here’s an example of how cultural differences are creating conflict within a team.

At your team meetings, Abdulla and Aruto,  junior team members are always quiet but have plenty to share via email and seem to have great ideas.  They are attentive and listen carefully but don’t contribute during the brain storming sessions. Other team members view their silence as a strategy to “keep their ideas” a secret, only sharing them directly with decision makers to out shine the others on the team. Abdulla and Arturo are new to the company, and haven’t yet figured out the “corporate culture”.  Other team members view their silence as awkward and an obstacle to collaborative spirit of the organization.  What’s going on here? Are these team members ultra-competitive or does culture affect their silence? How do they view power distance and the chain of authority among their team and leadership?

Understanding the answers will lead to improving your Cultural Intelligence.  Leading a multi-cultural team and motivating them to success can be difficult if communication styles affected by culture are not considered.  Building your cultural intelligence skills as a leader and as a team can help tackle these questions and create a cohesive collaborative, environment that leads to innovation and achieving the goals set by the organization. These skills can be used to have a better understanding of your company’s reach in the global market and can be the difference between an advertising campaign boom or bust.

Visit our CQ page  www.thearabculturalist.com/index.php/cq-cultural-intelligence to learn more about how to build your cultural intelligence.

Walls

Borders, Flags, National anthems, passports, visas, WALLS, boundaries and territories. It’s not just simple geography, it’s the mindset that creates our national consciousness or is it a means to divide and conquer?

Categorizing things is a skill that we develop starting from the day we’re born and reinforced throughout our education and environment. It is ingrained in our very being, and used to process the way we understand everything from math to the arts. We categorize people by gender, color, nationalities, culture, faith, political system or status, and the list goes on.

Is this just the way we are programmed to operate? If not, then how should it be?

Let’s simply look at the facts.

Yes, we are different, we do things differently and conceptualize things in ways we comprehend and are content with. So, what’s not acceptable about that?

We live in a time when somehow being different is not ok but rather the source of the wave of polarization that is effecting all aspects of society.  The old saying my way or hit the highway has become the prevailing winds of change. The loudest voices are screaming out that our differences are not interesting or unique, rather that they are to be looked at with precaution or even fear. Beware they are not like us, we are right, they are not!

When children meet, they are innocent, curious and intrigued by the world around them, particularity the differences; they don’t see white and black, blue eyes or brown, skinny or fat, rich or poor. But soon they learn perspective from parents, teachers, and their environment.  If the perspective is “us and them” then, the way they see differences  are no longer intriguing; rather they are met with fear, bias, misconception and prejudice.

If left unchecked, we grow up in an environment that is continuously injecting negative and stereotypes, into our mindsets (we let it), until our view of others is distorted by all kinds of misconceptions and negative perceptions.

What to do then? Through modifying our perspective, we can learn to take those misconceptions and create an opportunity to learn the facts about a certain culture or faith, nationality or ethnicity with the same curiosity and openness we had as children.

I also learned that it starts with me. Every one of us needs to first learn about ourselves before we can begin to understand others.  Call it our Cultural Values. Once I understand my underlying values, cultural norms, habits, traditions, the political identity and faith I proclaim, my comfort zone in going about life, I can begin to understand what drives my behavior and my perspective.

This perspective to accept who I am before others do, and that who I am may or may not have to do with where I was born, my traditions or faith, is critical to self-development and harmony in society. I call this Nationality vs Personality, and knowing the difference is the first step in building your Cultural Intelligence. What tribe or people I belong to or nationality I hold certainly does not represent a whole society, and conversely individuals that share with me faith, culture, or a political identity do not represent me. We each have our own, one of a kind, finger print, eye scan and DNA.

The perspective to be comfortable with myself in my own skin, strive to make others feel comfortable in their own skin, make sincere attempts at understanding others, empathize, sympathize, tolerate, creates an environment where we can live in peace and harmony.

For us to connect with each other, tear the WALLS down between us, we need to start with the basics. Greet each other with a smile at first glance, share a meal with a stranger, sit-down and have a chat, ask and answer questions, clear a misconception and clarify a perception with enthusiasm, passion, sincerity and laughter; cherish the moment and seize an opportunity that may never present itself again.

The Value of One Humanity

As we celebrate the International Day of Tolerance referred to as Al Tasamuh in Arabic, I’d like to shed some light on why this human value has become extremely important now more than ever.

As the world stands today, we are not only divided by nationalities, borders, flags, national anthems, faith, color, gender, status and level of education, we have drawn yet another divide, the division of personal opinion.

The fundamental basics to unity should be that we all agree on a foundation from which we extract the answers to our well-being and to peaceful coexistence.  This does not mean that we are not unique individuals; but our individuality should not be a source of division, separatism, war and strife.

In my endeavor to connect people and bridge the divide, alleviate misconceptions, and establish a different outlook on life, I would humbly like to share what I have learned:

  • That for this world and all that is in it, to exist and function, is not by chance; and its functioning must have a driver, a leader, a starter.
  • The fact of the matter is that we all have the same hardware (eyes, ears, arms, legs …etc.) the same motherboard, (we laugh, we cry, we are happy, we are sad and so on) and one operating system.
  • We have the basic instinct to survive, but how we survive is our choice. We choose to download, develop, create the software of us, the principles by which we protect our survival.
  • There are two “control panels” within us, logic – our Brain and emotional  – our Hearts. How we use them is the essence our humanity.

Logic: Simply think about the functioning of the universe that runs with pin point precision. Look at its vastness, look at the earth and all it encompasses, reflect, contemplate, question and genuinely seek the logic in it. Could it be by chance, or is this all planned and pre-designed?

Emotion: When we are in trouble, when we are in danger, when we are in a desperate situation, our instincts kick in. Its fight or flight, beg or plead, but in the end our heart motivates us into action.

Those who rely on the premise that there is a Master Planner, a Controller, He is the one we turn to when we are in despair, when the situation is desperate, when the calamity is about to befall us.

If we accept this premise of a higher power, the Creator of all that is created, Sustainer, Provider and Protector the one and only Lord of the Universe for all of mankind and all that is around us, then we also accept that there is a system, that allows us to exercise our most valuable asset that distinguishes the human race from  all that exists – FREE WILL,  and with that the knowledge that there are certain things that are unchangeable and therefore beyond our free will to choose.

What’s most interesting, is that no matter what you believe, pre-design or by chance, Master Planner or you as Master of the Plan, the things that we use so quickly to divide us are simply beyond our control. Ask yourself. Did you choose the color, gender, race, or the country you were born in? Did you choose your parents, your status in this world, or the resources you have around you? Do you choose when, where and how you will leave this life?  The answer is NO.

Therefore, to unite as one human race, we must accept the universal truth that a basic principle of life is the principle that every life is valued. There is no country or border with more right or humanness, no race or ethnicity that in and of itself is elevated. We can distinguish ourselves only by our treatment towards one another. We should rise to leadership by our devotion and justice to the people, and as I mentioned if you believe in a higher power, that God, Eloah, Elohim, Yahweh, Jehovah or Lord, is above all and therefore the Supreme Leader, with an operating system that is right for every living thing on this earth, inclusive of the social, economic and political guidelines that define wrong and right, good and bad.  If this is true, then we must adhere to the guidelines and rules that govern the human coexistence; we have no choice in how to treat one another, as the system requires that we must not discriminate and differentiate between one another based on the superficial.

We must not accept what is being propagated by those who would like to see some rise and others fall, to see a world divided by sectarianism, elitism, and religion. It is only when we recognize the words of great leaders past and present, who championed the philosophies of tolerance and peaceful coexistence that we will also become a great human race, ready to achieve a better life for the collective good. This is the only truth we must adhere to and preserve.

As I always say, renowned people in history are not those who collected the most wealth nor those who were the most beautiful or lived the healthiest lifestyle,  rather they are the simple people who did good; people like Mother Teresa, Ghandi, and for us here in the UAE we regard HH Sheikh Zayed, and HH Sheikh Rashid, for their humanity and acceptance of all.

Therefore, leave a legacy of good, and believe that the good starts with you. Reflect on the bad you do to others and apologies and fix it, also reflect and remember the good others do to you and be grateful and kind. Be a part of the solution, not a bystander to the problem. Tolerate, Accept.

Dubai Week in China

Building UAE – Chinese Relations Through Shared Culture

Do great minds think alike? Not really. The best way to connect with someone is to get to know what we have in common. We often on a first meet look for commonalities in the small talk and social cues before we get down to any serious business. Companies may have a common purpose or goal to collaborate for a mutually beneficial outcome, but that’s not always enough. Getting to know one another, the stakeholders in an organization and mutual comfort zones, makes the difference in doing the deal. When it comes down to two competing equally skilled companies for the same bid or contract, the “people element is crucial”. Understanding communication and leadership styles across cultures is the key to having a leading edge in doing business in the UAE.

This week a delegation of top industry and government representatives participated in Dubai’s Week in China, organized by Falcon & Associates where 11 separate agreements between public and private sectors were formed.  Highlights of this year’s week in China, held in Shanghai saw among other successes the strengthening of relationships with China’s business and educational endeavors.  “China is Dubai’s largest trading partner since 2014 and cooperation’s are extending beyond just trade.” says Kayed.  “Students are traveling from China to the UAE to take advantage of some of the world class MBA programs here. Our recent participation in IUNC shows that university recruiters see the value in cultural immersions as part of their orientation for students and agree that it helps with retention and happiness for students studying abroad.”   Mr. Kayed MC’d the “Cultural Intelligence for Future Leaders” forum at the DWiC, as well as giving talks at the Department of Tourism and Commerce event, and hosting a day of cultural immersion for participants.  “Cultural Intelligence abilities and competencies have become crucial to having an edge in highly competitive markets such as Dubai and China. These skills can be developed and enhanced with first building cultural knowledge. “

With an agreement signed this week between China and the Dubai, allowing for attestation of certificates and a reciprocal agreement between the two countries on education, the UAE will see an increase in Chinese students taking advantage of the world class schools and universities on offer in the UAE.  With that will come the necessity for universities to address cultural issues from the start, to allow students to have the best possible education and satisfaction in the process.  Universities like, SP Jain Global School of Management, Hult MBA’s and Modul University have already taken the initiative with orientation programs for international students that introduce local cultural norms, traditions and opportunities for enhancing their cultural knowledge.  Managing across cultures is the norm in international cities like Dubai and Shanghai. Therefore students need to be prepared, with the proper mix of skills that take into consideration so called “soft skills” like Cultural Intelligence and Cultural Competencies.

 

通过共享文化构筑阿联酋与中国的关系

 

英雄总是所见略同吗?不见得。建立联系的最好方式是发掘双方的共同点。我们经常在严肃的商业会谈开始前通过闲聊和社交线索寻找共同点。公司之间可能有着同样的目的或目标,以合作互利,但这并不总是足够的。相互了解、明晰一个组织的利益相关者以及彼此的舒适区,在交易中是能有所作用的。如果两个互相竞争的公司,在技术和投标方面并无二致,那么“人的因素则至关紧要”。对跨文化的沟通方式和领导风格的理解是在阿联酋做生意的关键。

 

本周,一个由顶级行业与政府的代表组成的代表团参加了在中国举办的迪拜周,期间达成了11项协议,合作范围涵盖公共和私营部门的多个领域。今年举行在上海的迪拜周的一大亮点是同中国商业与教育领域合作的加强。 “中国是迪拜自2014年以来最大的贸易伙伴,而双方的合作并不局限于贸易领域。”Kayed说。 “中国的学生们来到阿联酋,充分利用这里世界级的MBA课程。我们最近参与的IUNC(国际大学网络会议)表明,大学招聘人员将文化沉浸作为学生价值导向的一部分,大家同意,这将有利于保留率及留学生的幸福水平。Kayed 先生主持了迪拜周的“未来领袖的文化智商”论坛,在旅游局的活动中发言,并为参与者带来了一天的文化沉浸日活动。“在如迪拜和中国这样竞争激烈的市场,文化智商对于发展出个人竞争优势至关重要。这些技能可以首先通过建立文化知识来开发和增强。

 

中国和迪拜本周签署了互惠协议,双方将批准承认对方高等学历机构颁发的学历、学位,预计将会有更多的中国学生享受到世界一流学校与大学在阿联酋提供的教育。在这样的背景下,大学更有必要从一开就给予文化问题足够的重视,以让学生在整个过程中得到最好的教育,获得最大的满足。SP Jain全球管理学院,Hult MBA和Modul大学等已采取主动,为国际学生提供与当地文化规范、传统相关的介绍活动,以提高他们的文化知识。跨文化管理是迪拜、上海等国际城市的常态,因此,学生们需要武装好自己,将文化智商和文化竞争力这样的“软技能”纳入到技能储备组合中来。

Expatriates and Living in Dubai


Culture is everything and everything is culture.

The UAE’s population comprises of over 85% expatriates. Dubai is home to over 180 different nationalities. As expected, this has made the globally recognized UAE, as the colossal collage of different cultures.

While some expatriates (I like to call them guests) are happy to immerse themselves in UAE culture, others tend to network largely with fellow countrymen and other Westerners.

As an Inter-cultural and motivational speaker, I have had the good fortune of meeting thousands of expatriates. My extensive work as an authentic source for UAE and Middle Eastern culture puts me in direct contact with expatriates who are new to the UAE, as well as those who have been living in the region for many years.

Below I will share some key information on culturally aware expatriates and offer some useful tips.

What are 5 things that culturally aware expats do differently in terms of how they conduct themselves (socially in public) in UAE?

• They learn basic Arabic such as the greeting “Asalamu Alikum” and what it means.
• They are mindful of their dress in public places.
• They are less judgmental towards those who are different and more comfortable in culturally diverse settings.
• They are more eager to interact with locals and become less intimidated by cultural differences.
• They advocate for better understanding of misconceptions and are willing to change their perception about other cultures.
• They become more aware of their own cultural norms and find more commonalities with others rather than the differences.
• They strive to learn about the culture business etiquette needed to do business in the UAE and Arab world.

The most important thing that people who are new to UAE should keep in mind shortly after arriving here?

There are some basic expectations about the “etiquette of body language” that may be acceptable in other countries but not here. For instance, in Singapore chewing gum is against the law and you could be fined. In the UAE, inappropriate hand gestures, offensive language, or insulting someone are taken more seriously by law enforcement than in other countries. Simply put, you need to mind your manners.

Safety is very important to us. Once you get here, you will realize that the UAE is a very safe place to live and work. We are also very tolerant. In Dubai, you will find the most diverse number of nationalities coexisting in peace.

If you have a misconception we have a clarification, if you have a perception we have an explanation.

Cultural Intelligence for Kids?

Cultural Intelligence for Kids?

Cultural Intelligence (soft skills) or CQ has fast forwarded into mainstream teaching at many top colleges and universities including Harvard and Cambridge. Why? Because this generation’s educational needs are rapidly changing, and Cultural Intelligence is no longer  a “nice to have” but a “need to know”.  And, it is something best developed at a young age along with other skills like critical thinking, respect for diversity, and global awareness.
So, how can we incorporate CQ into our classrooms?
Firstly, for those out there who are unfamiliar with the terminology, CQ or Cultural Quotient is the measure of our ability to thrive in multi-cultural environments. It’s our ability in many ways to feel comfortable in our own skin, and for others to feel comfortable in theirs when interacting with us.  It starts with tolerance and acceptance, and a true desire to get to know one another so that we can work together.
Four million students currently travel to study and this number is set to increase to eight million by 2020 (UNESCO). But studentsa recent study showed that Chinese students traveling to the UK to study saw their English language skills decrease by the second year. How? Because they did not take advantage of the city that that they were in, getting to know their classmates from differing backgrounds and cultures. Rather, they went to school, created their own communities and groups, and rarely ventured outside their comfort zone. So part of Cultural Intelligence is our ability to feel comfortable and confident outside of our comfort zone.

International schools in Dubai are in many ways a small microcosm of the millions of international students that travel to study. During the past 8 years, while lecturing in many of your schools, I’ve asked the same questions of your students and the results I found were similar to the UK study. How many of you have an Emirati neighbor? A neighbor from a different country than yours? Whose first language is different than yours? How many of you have met your neighbors? How many of you have been to “Old Dubai”? I think most of you wouldn’t be surprised at the answers.

As teachers and administrators, we recognize its natural for children to gravitate towards other students like themselves; friendships form and that’s that. Some schools have made an effort to help students venture outside of their comfort zone, even making it a policy to change up classes each year in an attempt to encourage students to get to know one another. But without a true structured program, focusing on building Cultural Intelligence (CQ) efforts can fall short.
What can you do? Well here are some tips to help students develop their Cultural Intelligence. There are many theories out there, but for kids you need to keep it simple. Colleagues Earley and Mosakowski from Purdue University published an article in the Harvard Business Review that gives practical advice about how to improve cultural intelligence.
They divided Cultural Intelligence into three parts: head, body & heart which I’ve adapted to the educational levels of young students.
Head: Learn about the cultures in your community. That means getting to know about other beliefs, traditions, and do mindbodyheartand don’ts. Knowledge is the first key to Cultural Intelligence.
Body: Understanding common gestures between different cultures in not enough. Sharing those gestures in a sincere way, even though it may not be from your culture helps people to understand one another and feel included. Many classrooms start their day with “Assalamu Alaikum” translated as “Peace be with you”. 95% of the time, students don’t know what this means. Starting each year with a short explanation and understanding this greeting goes a long way to creating a feeling of unity and togetherness. And remember this greeting is not exclusive, in some ways it means the same thing as a handshake, kiss on the cheek or hug. Let’s be friends.
Heart: This has to do with confidence. Feeling confident in your own cultural norms, including knowing what they are, helps  you to make others feel comfortable with theirs. It’s all about sharing and understanding. Instill a sense of curiosity in your students that it’s OK to ask why about cultural behaviors, and be ready to guide them to the answers. And don’t forget to self-evaluate (reflect).

The Meaning of Hajj by Nasif Kayed, Founder the Arab Culturalist

Hajj is the Arabic word for pilgrimage and is a journey to the city of Mecca in Saudi Arabia that a submitter (Muslim) must make once in a lifetime if able financially and physically. This fulfills what is ordained by the Lord Allah as one of the five Pillars/Acts of Worship.

THE HAJJ JOURNEY

Today Muslims plan to make this journey when they are able as one of the five Acts of Worship.  The pilgrim must strip him or herself from all worldly attachments, this is symbolised by the wearing of two simple pieces of white cloth for the male, and a white or plain dress for a female that is free of any designs or frills. This in itself brings about the principle of equality between all pilgrims regardless, of wealth, colour, ethnicity, language and health. 

In the holy city of Mecca lies the Ka’ba, a square building draped in adorned black cloth which was built by the Prophet Ibrahim PBUH and his son Ismael. This house of worship has been preserved, and the area built up around it is known as Al Haram Al Shareef. This is where more than 3 million pilgrims perform Hajj each year, circling around it sets of 7 times and performing daily prayers. They are many steps to the journey and worshippers must stay focused and patient.

Regardless of where you from, as a Muslim, once you have reached adulthood you should strive to fulfill this obligatory act of worship once in your lifetime. To some it is easily accomplished, to others it is very hard because of distance, the money it costs to make the journey or the physical strength necessary to perform the rituals of Hajj.

Some Muslims never get a chance to go before they pass away. In this case, someone else can perform Hajj on their behalf, but not before they have completed their own.

Following the completion of this journey, all Muslims celebrate Eid Al Adha, which starts with a congregational prayer shortly after sunrise, and then involves dressing in new clothing and visiting family and friends. Children receive gifts and families spend time together.

THE STORY BEHIND THE HAJJ

The principle behind this journey is to commemorate the story of Prophet Ibrahim (PBUH) who is known as the father of the three monotheistic religions, Judaism, Christianity and Islam. He reestablished the belief in One God, Allah, in an era when idol worshipping had become a way of life. According to Islam, he grew up in a home where his father was an idol maker, making idols from wood, stones and dates and sold them. Ibrahim felt in his heart that this was wrong, and would spend days journeying and contemplating the nature of the true Lord. Ibrahim was chosen by the Lord Allah to deliver this message, and he endured numerous tests and trials of faith…

THE FIRST LESSON

Ibrahim had a desire for a son, but became an old man without children. He remained patient and faithful and continued to ask for a son until Ismael was born from his wife Hajar in old age. Later he was blessed with Isaac from his wife Sarah, Peace be upon them all. (The moral behind this story is patience.)

THE SECOND LESSON

Allah asked Ibrahim to take baby Ismael and his wife Hajar to the desert, and leave them alone in the area that is known today as Mecca. Hajar trusted in Allah‘s order and waited patiently. Once out of food and water and alone with her baby, Hajar ran between the hills called Safa and Marwa, looking for help. She prayed for Allah’s Mercy and protection, and the Almighty provided for them a spring called Zam Zam which opened from under the feet of Ismael. This story is reenacted by the Pilgrims at Hajj who run in between Safa and Marwa 7 times, and drink from Zam Zam.

It is this spring that made life possible in such a harsh place that grew into the great city of Mecca and became the home of the holiest mosque in Islam.

(The moral behind this story is to trust in Allah.)

THE THIRD LESSON

Once again Ibrahim is tested by the Lord as he is told in a dream to sacrifice his son. When Ibrahim tells Ismael of the dream he obediently answers, “Do as you are ordered!”. When both son and father are ready to obey their Lord without questions or hesitation, Allah bestows His mercy on them and presents Ibrahim with a ram to sacrifice instead of his son. (The moral here is absolute obedience.)

WHAT EID AL ADHA MEANS TO MODERN MUSLIMS

The last tale is commemorated by sacrificing a lamb on Eid Al Adha at the completion of Hajj.  The meat is shared among family, neighbors and the poor, and we remember how blessed we are. It also reminds us to relinquish our love for material possessions, think of those who are in need and appreciate the most important and dear to us, our Lord, our families, our neighbors and community.

Hajj is a commemoration of the devotion to worshiping the one and only God, to be willing to sacrifice what you most adore and has been prescribed on the people since the time of Ibrahim.

Freedom or Oppression

What Do You See?

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Take the Cultural Compentency Quiz!

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Recipe for Corruption? Cultural Intelligence without Core Values

For the past two decades, experts, gurus, and psychologists have been equating high Emotional Intelligence with success in leadership. But what if that leader is simply using his EQ skills to mask his emotions and control the emotions of others for his personal benefit? What about the common good and well-being of employees and goals of the organization?  Is EQ being taught in a vacuum?

With all the crash course and solicitations for EQ certifications and seminars, I began to do some self-evaluation.  Years ago I was told to be a great manager you need to understand the psychology of motivation. “Take a behavioral psychology course,” one of my associates said, “it will make you a better manager.”  I understood the impact of pulling at someone’s heart strings to motivating them into action. But what if the action is morally wrong or self-serving? Are there underlying common core values that must be taught before we can be given the “weapon” or skills of EQ?

Emotional Intelligence is being taught in our schools, colleges, and workplaces, as a system that promotes successful leaders and healthy work environments. Unfortunately, I have witnessed just the opposite and seen its destructive side. EQ without a moral code of conduct is a dangerous tool.  Its dangers are seen all around us, in the workplace, in politics, and in governance. Teach a bully EQ and he’ll be a better bully. Bullies have a high level of “social intelligence” and teaching them EQ could actually help rather than hinder bully behavior. While some advocate that EQ can reduce bullying, EQ without the proper moral codes won’t stop the bully from “reading people” to his advantage.   Many political campaigns and “exits” in hindsight make little sense to us and we wonder about how we were swept up in the emotional wave that’s out of sync with our core values.

Neuroscientists tell us that emotions are in the subconscious part of the brain. For instance, if I see something that emotes jealously, I cannot stop the emotion, but I can control how I react to it with thinking and intellect, which are in another part of the brain.  On the other hand, values, are cognitive and emotional. They combine thinking, concepts, goals, and beliefs with emotional attitudes that can be positive or negative. For example, if one of your core values is justice, and you see injustice towards one of your co-workers in the workplace, emotions such as empathy or anger will motivate you to action.

Some core values are universal while others may vary according to regions and cultures, and again have a variety of factors that influence them.   If we are going to teach Emotional Intelligence in our schools and workplaces, then we need to teach it in the context of the values that go along with it. It’s important to teach how to manage our emotions, but not to use that control to control others to their disadvantage. Otherwise, the acute development of Emotional Intelligence without a defined set of core values can lead to corruption and manipulation of human behavior rather than true leadership and a team  or community motivated to achieve  a common goal for the benefit of all.